Quiet Ways

Jan 10 08

Hi Big Boy,

I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately.  With the medical things you’ve been through, I know you’ve had much on your mind. And the strange thing about medical problems is that when we get them, fears and anxieties can also pile on and can become as great as the medical problems themselves. If that’s where you find yourself at present, I hope you will realize that you’re pretty much like the rest of us.

Back in 1985 doctors were telling me that I had serious blockage in my arteries and it threw me. I went into the hospital for tests and was really frightened.  So was Jeri. I went through the tests expecting the worst and was completely surprised when the doctors told me all the tests came out negative. I was one happy man when I left that hospital. I felt like I had been given a reprieve.

Then in 1992 I began to feel some numbness in my toes and didn’t know what to think.  The numbness began to creep into my feet.  After a bunch of tests I was told that I had Peripheral Neuropathy, a neurological condition normally caused by diabetes or thyroid problems .  Since I had neither, the cause in my case was and still is a mystery.

As it has progressed it now gives me considerable numbness and weakness in my feet and legs. My balance is mediocre at best.  Even though I exercise religiously my feet and legs are pretty weak. PN gives a lot of people much pain and suffering but I’ve been spared that. However, as it has progressed, I’ve allowed it to get me anxious and depressed at times. It’s very hard for me not to be able to do things I could do so easily at one time. Add to my PN the fact that I’m getting older and there you have it.

Concerning the anxiety and depression part of things, most of the time I’m able to keep on top of it. Most of the time I don’t allow my fears to get the best of me. I try to start out my days quietly, reading a little and maybe listening to nature CDs or meditative music. I do exercises just about everyday.  I pick my guitar.  I try to read things that are enjoyable to me. I do fun things with Jeri.  She has a way of helping me to get my mind off myself. I try to communicate with my love ones more regularly. Since Jeri is still working, I do more of the errands that Jeri used to do when we were both working. I cook and do projects around the apartment.

I tell you about the ways I try to keep my equilibrium realizing that everyone has to find their own way to cope. What works for one person might work for another but might not. Each of us has to find our own way.

One thing you are facing that I haven’t faced in the same way is the fact that your work is so dependent on you being in good health. So much of what you do depends on your body. This must give you an added dose of fear and anxiety as you think about it.

I feel for you as you deal with all this.

Having said this, my hunch is that the health scare you’ve just had will be a passing thing. But I sure hope it has gotten your attention about how fragile our lives are. You’ve got to take better care of yourself Mikey.  Your doctor has told you that you’ve got to move on from smoking. Your age, family history, your diabetes and your high cholesterol are warning you all over the place. Please don’t ignore the warning signs which are all around you now. If you really take charge of your health and say no to certain things, you can probably live a very long healthy life. 

We’ll be down to see you guys come mid February. We sure look forward to it. I think the dates are Feb 12-18. Can’t wait to hang out with you guys and your animals for a while

Love you Son.  Jeri sends her love to you and Stacie too.