Jeri’s letter at the death of Ernie Rodrigues January 8, 2002

Dear Ernie and Monica,

These are the times I regret being far away.  I cannot hold you, I cannot see you and I feel a sadness of not being with you at a time that will affect you forever.  Your Father’s death.  I’m so sorry.  Both my Father’s died, your grandfathers, and still I feel the loss.  But for 16 years, my Dad (Jack) has been with me.  I feel him in my saddest times and I call on him to help in times of trouble especially with the family.  I pictured him drinking a toast with Daddy Joe when Daddy Joe died and got up there.  You know they used to joke around and have drinks together!

That’s how I picture your Dad.  Toasting a reunion with his old friends Fred, Joe and others.  First though he reunited with Nana Angie and your Grandpa Albert.  This is heaven.  This is where we’ll all be united some day.  May this thought comfort you.  But the reality of not seeing or holding our loved one is too painful.  The pain in time diminishes but it never goes away entirely.  That very important person in our lives is always with us in spirit.  In your Dad’s case, he lives through you and your children and your children’s children.

When you face something tough and you want to give up, you’ll see your Dad’s face and remember his work ethics and know he would never give up.  That he lived a decent life, loved the best he could, he knew the importance of education and gave you kids a start and not only helped you financially but did it wisely.  He was a tough businessman, he was talented and he was focused.  I always respected your father.  I was 14 when he married your Mother.  What did I know about anything but I did know he was handsome and your Mother was very much in love with him.  We didn’t say much to each other.  I did observe he was very much in command of his life.  I wish some of his self sacrifice to improve himself had rubbed off on me.  I didn’t appreciate his hard work, going to school at night, working full time and raising a family until I was much older.  In the early ‘80s, he was very sick and we all thought he wasn’t going to make it and everybody was giving blood transfusions.  He meant a lot to me and I happened to be in L.A. on a visit.  I came to the hospital and when he saw me he made a joke that he must be dying for me to come all the way from Washington, D.C. to see him. 

I hope you kids take the best of him and learn from his life.  He was a good, solid Father.  The best thing he could give you besides his love was to let you stand on your own feet and survive this world.  I honor his life and I loved him as part of my family.

May you feel God’s presence in your sadness and joy as the memories come again and again.

Uncle Mike and I were in the Poconos Mountains in Pennsylvania at the time of your Father’s services.  It snowed Sunday night and Monday morning.  It was a magical sight in the morning. We took a walk near the Appalachian Trail.  We walked on virgin snow through snow covered trees and felt the miracle of God’s work of nature.  The only thing we could hear was our own footsteps crunching and birds singing along the way.  Not a soul in sight.  We walked to the Holy Ground of the ancient Celts, a replica of places in Scotland and Ireland where people gathered to pray and bury their dead centuries ago.  In the stillness of the morning, I prayed for your Father, you kids, your Aunt Lucille and all the people who loved him and will miss him.  I felt a deep connection despite being so far away and I came to understand that miles mean little when one loves and this is the same in the separation through death—we are always connected through love…Aunt Jeri