TRIBUTE TO A PROFESSION

Oct 19, 1982    revised July 2014

The Center is an unlimited well of profound truth.

We have learned that if we cross our legs frequently

we are afraid of being castrated,

that women feel incomplete because they don’t have penises,

that if we fold our arms

we did not successfully get through potty training,

that if we smoke cigarettes

we have a thing about nipples,

if we smoke cigars

we have a bigger problem.

We have paid $5000 a piece

to find out that we’re all screwed up

something most of us found out

too far back to remember.

Our teachers charge $200 an hour

to tell their clients the same thing

but it takes at least one session per week for eight years or so.

The tactic the pros use

is to quietly look at the client and say

“How do you feel about that?” or

“What I hear you saying is…”  or

to just stare and say nothing.

Centuries from now

people will read about these unusual professionals

and the even stranger folks who supported them.

They will smile, shake their heads incredulously and say

“Man, were they screwed up?”

something most of us learned too far back to remember.