SOLVEIG

Michael Easterling  

April 28, 2018

Five feet 10,

gray hair always cut short

overweight

Dressing in roomy comfortable clothes

‘big girls’ and a 42 bra

comfortable shoes.

Still haunted by the VP’s words: “We’re down-sizing.”

But everything is together.

At the Rectory-

Morning Prayer

genuflecting

saying prayers

saying the Rosary and Our Fathers

genuflecting.

Still haunted by the doctor’s words: “if he lives he will be profoundly disabled.’

But everything is together.

At Church-

 8 am, !2:01pm, 5pm Mass

making sure the ’boys’ vestments are ready

checking hymnals and missals

putting up new hymn numbers on the marquees

assisting with late-comers

taking up Offerings

assisting with the Elements

passing out brochures

checking Security.

Still haunted by Sangster’s words:  “I’ve found someone else.”

But everything is together.

Back to the Rectory-

setting clocks

checking on sexton and cook

taking care of her ‘boys’

enduring the Nuns

shopping for house essentials

checking the Laundry Room.

Still haunted by her parents words after she came out: “You’re dead to us..’

But everything is together.

Compline

then Reading

exchanging emails with her sister in assisted living

hurt that her nieces do not answer her letters and texts

showering

putting lotion on her mastectomy scars

taking her Lipitor and Lisinopril

kneeling by her bed and praying

turning off the light

laying in the silence

laying in the darkness

unable to sleep

haunted by her failures

haunted by her regrets

haunted by the pain.

Trying to keep it together.