Putting the Past Behind

Sunday April 14, 2002     6:30am

I suppose the depression I am in is the cause. When my mind is dark and emotions drained, ghosts of the past show themselves again. 

Mistakes I made with my children. Times when my ego needs were so great, I was driven to do things which I would never have done in the light of day. Times when I grossly failed loved ones, friends, myself, everyone in sight. Poor performances. Heart breaking losses. Times when innocently I was used and abused.

When I allow myself to live in the dark, those old ghosts creep out of the shadows again…out of the cold, dark crevices and caverns of my soul.

There are times of light and contentment when it seems the ghosts are truly gone…no longer existing…or they are only necessary experiences that made me what I am today.

But then…

In these times I am sometime able to remember the ancient words…If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night, even the darkness is not dark to you, the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.

Dear Lord, dispel the darkness. May the light of your presence and the assurance of your love and forgiveness heal my weary soul

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Amen.